CSI: Midgar
by Master of Chronicles
Summary: A Murdered flower girl, a wacky mom, a violent room mate, a mysterious boyfriend, a spike-haired best friend, and plenty of blame to go around. Only the Turks got what it takes to solve this case. Warning; forensic content, some idiocy.


_Do not own FFVII, but I am bringing SquareEnix to court and try. Mostly because I want another movie._

_Please enjoy!_

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Tseng walked unto the scene, his jaw set, his mouth a thin line. Police cars with flashing red and blue lights were parked up and down the street, infantry men forming a line around the crime scene. It was around 1:00 am in the morning, and already the day had a bad start.

"Well, Mr. Reno, what do we have?" The investigator asked the young, red haired man.

Reno was bent over a corpse, inspecting it. The lifeless body was that of a young woman. She was laying on her back, hands placed neatly on her stomach, wearing a simple pink dress which didn't look dirty in the least. Even her hair was neat. Flowers of all kinds surrounded her, and one in particular was resting in her overlapping hands. It looked like she was asleep rather than dead in a back alley. The only thing that looked out of place in the otherwise poetic scene was a gaping hole in her chest.

Reno told Tseng what he knew. "22 years old female, white or asian, I'm not to sure. Looks like a stab wound through the spine. With any luck she died instantly. There's not enough blood for her to have been killed here."

"So she was moved." Tseng stated.

"Huh…isn't that what I said?" Reno asked, frowning.

Tseng took a look around. They were standing in one of Midgar's many alleys, filled with grim, garbage, and stray cats. The perfect place to dump a body.

"Who called it in?"

"One of ours. He was making his rounds when he found her lying here. This is gonna be big news, Tseng. There hasn't been a murder on the Plate for years. People will be shocked."

Tseng reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his shades, putting them on. "Yes. (pause) Like getting hit by a meteor."

Tseng proceeded to walk away.

"Umm, boss?" Called out Reno. "It's midnight. Why are you putting on your shades?"

(Theme song)

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WON'T FOOL ME AGAIN! WON'T FOOL ME AGAIN!!!!

CSI: MIDGAR

Starring:

Tseng

Reno

Elena

Rude

Hojo

Vincent Valentine

And Rufus Shinra

Guest Starring:

Cloud Strife

Tifa Lockhart

Barret Wallace

Cid Highwind

Yuffie Kisaragi

Cait Sith

And Red XIII as "The Dog Thing"

WE'RE GONNA CATCH YOU! YOU!! YOU!!! YEAAHHH YOU!!!!

Part 1

"The Flower Girl"

"That was strange theme song." Rude pointed out as he's taking down notes for no apparent reason.

"Sounded like a melange of the ones CSI: Miami and CSI use." Reno answered back, watching the emergency people hoist the body onto a stretcher and take it away.

Meanwhile he, Rude and rookie Elena were carefully combing the area.

"I found a can of beer!" Reno exclaimed. "Still some beer in it. Maybe it belongs to the killer and has DNA on it."

"Sorry, that's mine." Rude took the can away and finished it off.

"You know. I've always wanted to take pictures for fashion magazines. Get to meet celebrities, have a glamorous career, probably win some awards for revealing the truth in third world countries. But here I am, taking pictures of a crime scene where a dead girl dressed like a five year old was found." Elene lamented, her camera clicking wildly, getting the scene at every possible angle, even upside down. "Why do we need these many shots anyway?"

Rude was also taking pictures of the surrounding area. "It's what we were taught. By the way, speaking of dead girls, you still open for that date?"

Elena stared at him flatly. "Not anymore. I'm a very strong willed, independent, attractive young woman who will not be stood up at anytime during this fanfic and will prove myself equal to all my other male counterparts."

"Ok, ok. Geez. Just say no next time." Rude muttered.

"Cool!" Rude had disappeared behind a trash bin, but now emerge with an four and a half foot long, one foot wide buster sword in his hands.

"That's huge, man! Let me touch it." Reno was trying to take the weapon out of his partner's hand. Finally tearing it out of Rude's hands, the red-haired Turk inspected it. "Looks like we got traces of blood. We might get prints off it too."

"If that's the case why aren't you two wearing gloves!?" Elena shouts, jabbing a finger at their bare hands.

"Oh, crap." Reno mutters.

Elena shakes her head, looking down at a pink shoulder bag laying on the asphalt. She takes a picture first, then opens it up.

"I have a name, number and address." She calls out. "Areis Gainsborough…not wait, it's Arie_th_, not Areis. I don't know why the change. She's 22 years old, lived at 135 Bar street at the 7th Heaven apartment complex. That's only ten minutes away. You guys want to go check out her place while I try to find the next of kin?

Reno and Rude were too busy taking swings at each other with the huge sword to hear anything. Rude heaved the blade over his head, hitting the brick wall as he missed Reno, cutting into the brick like butter. Elena saw that the wall was full of such marks.

"Guys!"

"Alright, alright. We're going. 135 Bar street, 7th Heaven." Reno said, rushing to the car.

Rude followed, sword in tow.

"Hold on." Elena pulled out a small plastic bag from her pocket. "Put the sword in here. It's evidence and I'll have it checked."

"But it won't fit in that." Rude objected.

"Do it!"

Defying all laws of physics, Rude put the sword in the bag and hurried to join Reno in the car.

**Half an hour later.**

"Well, Elena. How are we doing?" Tseng asked, walking into the lab back at headquarters.

"Very good…uh…sir." She was quickly turning red, her heart beating faster just because he was near. Tseng didn't seem to notice. "I pulled prints of the sword we found, and ran the blood on it for DNA identification. Ran the prints in the system and found nothing. And the blood doesn't match our victim's."

"Well, we got a problem then." Tseng said flately, overacting. "How did you get all those tests done so fast? It can take hours, if not day to run DNA tests."

"Well, seeing how we don't have over an hour for this episode I merely sped up the process. Is that a problem?"

"No, no. Thank you." Tseng began to leave.

"Did we find any of Arieth's family?" Elena asked.

Stopping, the inspector half-turned back to the rookie. "Yes. She has a mother living in the slums. I'm going to talk to her now."

"You're not bringing her in?"

"Why?'

"For questioning."

"Elena, you bring _suspects_ in for that. When you're about to tell relatives about a death, you go to their place."

"Oh…Can I come?"

"No need. Valentine is coming with me."

As Tseng left, Reno happened to walk into the room from the other side, talking to the blond. "Ok, so if this is going to be a realistic fic about the murder of Arieth in true CSI style, like the author wants, we're going to need the basics. So, what do we need to do to establish that?"

"Well…" Elena thought for a moment. "We need the cause of death, the murder weapon, motive and suspects."

"Right. So, cause of death?"

"I don't know. Aren't we supposed to see someone about that. Like a doctor or something?"

"Right! Hojo!"

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"Welllllllll…" The scrawny, glasses wearing old man was bent double over the large, overweight body, chest wide open, organs laying all over the place, and blood on the walls, "As you can see, this man died due to fatness."

"Doc!" Reno cried out as Elena got sick in the corner of the morgue. "Not the guy we found at McDonald's. The girl from this morning."

"Oh." Hojo spun around to the next table, were the young girl lay, a surgical blanket covering her modestly. "Quite simple this one. A let down, actually. I much prefer the ones you bring me that look like they came out of a Saw III movie. Those are exciting!"

"Just…give us…cause of de…death." Elena was struggling to stand. How she hated coming down here.

"Pierced through the heart. One stroke. Instant death."

"Gun shot?" Reno asked.

"No, something pointed and long. A couple of feet or so." Hojo answered. "A spear, or a sword."

"A sword!" Reno gave a start. "We found one at the crime scene. It was way too big though, obviously."

"Got any idea of the type of sword?" Elena inquired.

"Hmm…" Hojo had a hole in the surgical blanket just big enough to show the wound. "As is clearly marked on the skin, your looking for a weapon that would leave this distinct shape."

"Looks like a thin, upside down triangle." Remarked Reno, bending over to get a better look.

"Which means the sword, or whatever it was is sharpened only on one side, like a saber or a katana." Elena said smartly, her voice taking on a very odd southern accent.

"And one more detail. Based on how the bruising on the skin here, the attack came from behind." Hojo added, adjusting his glasses.

_FLASH!_

_Close up image of Areith from behind. A katana is run through her back, coming out of her chest. Deep sounds of a heartbeat slowing until it finally stops. Sword is pulled free, Areith collapses to the ground._

_FLASH!_

"What the heck was that?" Hojo demanded, looking in all directions.

"A flashback, doc." Reno explained. "It's for those who are more visual and like the gritty bits of crime solving."

"That's annoying. Totally ruined my concentration." Suddenly Hojo snapped his fingers. "I almost forgot."

Going over to his desk, Hojo grabbed a tall glass filled with a grayish, brown mush and offered it to the red haired Turk. "Here's your blended drink that I made for you today."

"Sweet!" Reno grabbed it happily and began drinking without hesitation. "Mmm. Meaty. I love your drinks, doc. Hey, the dead fat guy from McDonald. Where's his leg?"

"Never mind that." Hojo was holding a notepad, looking at Reno with deep, scientific interest. "Now tell me, are you feeling light-headed at all? Weakness in the legs? Stiffness in your back?"

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Nope."

"Very well. What about the sudden urge to have a hamburger and fries?"

Elena quickly hurried out of the room, hoping that the others were having better luck solving the case.

**At the Gainsborough home.**

Tseng knocked on the door firmly, standing straight and tall, his sunglasses still on. It was now sunrise in the slums, which meant the light peaked between the horizon and the plate above. He took a moment and looked around the neighborhood. Run down houses, barefoot children, stray dogs, litter everywhere. He never did like the area. He believed that Shinra should invest more in the place, get it back on it's feet.

He looked at his partner, the man dressed in a crimson cloak, a golden gauntlet on his left hand and a triple barreled gun in a holster on his right hip.

"Why are you in that getup?" He asked Vincent.

"I was at a costume party. Hadn't had time to change."

"Your eyes are all red. Have you been drinking?"

"…No." He lied. "These are contacts."

The door suddenly opened, middle-aged woman standing in the entrance with an old robe wrapped around her. She had rolls in her hair and a hot coffee in her hands. "Can I help you gentlemen?"

"Mrs. Gainsborough?" Tseng asked.

"Miss Gainsborough." She replied. "My late husband died under very mysterious circumstances years ago and I got a lot of insurance money that I quickly squandered afterwards."

"I see. Well, I'm sorry I'm here to tell you…" Tseng took in a breath. He hated breaking news to parents about their children's death. The emotional toll, the blaming, the tears, the anger, and the depression were all terrible things to see anyone go through. He was going to try and break it as delicately as he could.

"Your daughter croaked last night." He announced, looking down at his watch. "Darn, I missed the reruns of Loveless."

"What?"

"She kicked the bucket." He repeated.

"I'm sorry young man, but I don't understand the way you young people talk nowadays. Maybe you have the wrong house."

She started to close the door, but Tseng stuck his foot in, and tried again. "We found your daughter dead in an alley last night, stabbed with a sword or something like that. Mind if we come in and asked you a few questions?"

"Ahem." Vincent coughed.

"Yes?"

"We weren't there when Hojo did the autopsy or when they had the chat about the swords. How can you know that?"

"The fans reading right now know it. Why waste time writing a short scene about Elena calling my cell and updating me?"

"Good point."

Ms. Gainsborough was staring at them, her lips trembling. "My Areith is dead?"

"Yep." Tseng nodded up and down enthusiastically.

The mother suddenly smiled broadly, waving her hands in the air as she begun jumping up and down around her living room, screaming. "YES! YES! YES!!!!"

The two turks stared openly.

"I think we just found our first suspect." Vincent muttered.

**Commercial Break.**

_Heh, heh. Hoped you like it. I always thought it would be cool to have the Turks as CSI. Obviously it can't be too serious, yet I intend to have a full mystery, with suspects, evidence linking virtually everyone to the crime, and corny comebacks. If you like, please review._


End file.
